My Thoughts on Weddings

Reading Time: 5 minutes | May 14, 2020

Friends were a little bit shocked when they received an invite to our wedding that was 1 month away.

“Why was it so spontaneous? Can they even plan it in a month? What is going on?!”

We’re sure that they had many questions running through their mind. The major one being: “Is Weiting pregnant?”

You can let your speculations rest! Weiting was, and is, not yet pregnant!

We’d love to share some thoughts on relationships and why marriage, to us, is not something either of us dreamed about since we were little. We understand that many individuals want to put on the wedding of the century, we completely respect that. It’s just not us.

Alright, let’s do a quick rewind on our story.

Part 1: In Grade 9, Weiting took elaborate notes for various subjects. Vishal got ahold of Weiting’s Geography notes and that’s how he came to know of her.

At the end of Grade 9, Weiting noticed someone named ‘Vishal’ had beaten her in overall grade average. Without a doubt, Weiting had to find out who this smart kid was. Everyone wants to be friends with the smart kid.

Not long after that, the two found each other!

Part 2: Weiting and Vishal graduated high school together and attended different universities. With the brains of a software engineering and a business student, they built an app together. It didn’t get too far but you learn and you grow!

With that wisdom, Weiting and Vishal landed jobs from corporate to startups. They traveled around the world for conferences, studies, and vacation. One might say they are a little too adventurous after one of them broke an arm trying to ride a motorbike, but again, you learn and you grow!

Part 3: Fast forward to June 2019, Weiting went to Europe for a conference & work trip. Vishal surprised Weiting by showing up at her hotel at 1AM in the morning! After spending nearly a decade of their lives together, Vishal popped the question. Of course, Weiting said ‘Yes’!

Now, here we are!

Weiting & Vishal are now ready to cross the next milestone in life. They know you’ve played a huge role in their growth and that’s why you are invited for a wedding celebration.

Now fast forward to the wedding. What’s important to us in making the decision?

  1. That we believed in the concept of Weiting and Vishal. First and foremost, without question, we need to believe it wholeheartedly. That we’re not just saying: “it’s been a decade so what the heck”.

  2. That we were going to be user-centric. A wedding is about the couple but it’s just as much about how much our guests take away from it. The last thing we want is someone to say: “Oh, wait, that was a wedding?”

  3. That we were going to satisfy both Indian and Chinese family and friends. An interracial couple comes with a family who might have different opinions about how a “wedding” should be. We negotiate and utilize parts that everyone loves!

When we were questioned about our choices…

We want to do it EVEN more because we don’t like being told: “no, you can’t do that…” We hope that in the future, others will see us as points of inspiration to do something different.

  1. “You can’t MC your own wedding…that’s crazy! Don’t you want to enjoy it?” That’s exactly what we did. An MC plays an important part of a wedding because a wedding is essentially a show. Do our guests want to attend a wedding which is hosted by a stranger (although professional) or someone who unfortunately isn’t such a great speaker on stage (we have a high bar for public speaking)?

  2. “There’s no way you can pull it off in a month’s time. What about a down payment for the venues and vendors?” Watch us. Just watch.

  3. “Wait, so you’re not going to wear a white gown?” No. Both the Indian and Chinese cultures have beautiful outfits. We never truly understood the concept behind the white gown.

  4. “You’re not going to have floral decor?” Flowers die! We’re not really “flower” people. Valentines’ day dates come with great food and travel experiences as memories, not flowers.

  5. “You don’t have bridesmaids or groomsmen? You’re not doing a bachelor or bachelorette party?” Sorry, is this your wedding or ours? It’s not that we don’t love our friends. We know that our friends are there for us. “Selecting” a set of people is just not our style because every single person who showed up to the event is important to us.

  6. “You’re not inviting XYZ?” Sometimes you have to make tough choices! When we brainstormed about the wedding, we said that this is going to be a small affair. That every single person who comes would have played an important role in shaping who we are today. It’s our way of thanking them.

But really, how do you know she/he/they is/are the one?!

We may never know and that’s OK. We operate on the basis of respect.

  • Respect in each others’ independence. Giving each other space to explore extra-curricular activities that are not tied to one another.

  • Respect in communicating feedback on a regular basis. We must give and take.

  • Respect in mutual understanding that there will be points of disagreement. Back it up with logic and a thought process.

  • Respect in each others’ desire to continue to grow and learn. Stay humble and explore opportunities.

  • Respect in providing support for times when life chucks rotten lemons at us.

  • Respect in each other’s love language. Touch, words, gifts, time, or service.

  • Respect that we are human. There will be times where they annoy you and that’s part of being perfectly imperfect.