NEW: a mom's expectation for her boys
Reading Time: 18 minutes | March 16, 2019
Disclaimer: this blog is written for my 16-year old sister, Winnie. However, all young leaders/movers/shakers/adults can benefit from the advice within. Let’s share & enjoy together.
I still remember the days when I used to sing lullabies to put you to sleep in our parents’ one-bedroom apartment . I used to help change your diapers, walk you in the stroller, and feed you apple-sauce-like food .
You’re now 16 years old . The time has seriously flown by. Watching you grow into the young lady you are today makes me so proud to be your older sister!
In February 2019, we had a brief chat about “your future” . You asked for some advice and I told you it’d be, maybe, even more awesome if it wasn’t just my advice you heard. Rather, I’ll try to gather advice from other brilliant minds.
To that extent, I proceeded to my LinkedIn network and so many people replied back to give you advice !
The following are taken verbatim from this post I made on LinkedIn. I hope you learn something new and possibly share it with your friends.
-x-
To those who submitted your advice, I can’t thank you enough. Your learnings are extremely appreciated !
Thank you Weiting Xu
Parents are just kids growing up w/ you – work w/ them, not against them.
Not everyone knows what they want to do in life at the ripe age of 5. It’s ok to try a few things vs getting hung up on what you/your parents thought you wanted. Careers should be a total adventure.
Try to be well connected in life & on social media. The value of building long-lasting relationships is so underrated. Plus, you never know who you are going to work with/for.
I am still learning about love but the one thing that comes to mind is that everyone gives & seeks love differently. For me, someone bringing me Skittles on a hard day can feel like love. For someone else, it could be a phone call. Try to genuinely invest time in your friendships, family, work relationships & build them on a mutual understanding.
The best thing you can do for yourself is save 40% of your money every month in an out of sight, out of mind bank account. Pay your OSAP back ASAP because debt is a terribly contagious thing.
Make BIG goals and BIGGER moves to achieve them. But you have to write them down! I remember, one of my big goals was to be debt free by 30. I achieved it at 25!
Co-President at Rotaract Club of York University | Aspiring CPA & Entrepreneur | Philanthropist
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lipicaaggarwal/
To take every opportunity you get because you never know what will work out! And even if it doesn’t work out, you can still say you learned something new and that you’ve grown personally or professionally as a person!
Product Manager at SYSPRO Canada
https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevebassaw/
Don’t be shy about asking more experienced people for career advice. You probably think that they’re too busy or not interested in helping a junior person like you, but you’ll be very surprised at the number of people who will gladly share the benefit of their experience over a coffee.
Gather as much experience as you can – of any kind! Talk to people you normally wouldn’t talk to, join clubs/teams outside of your hobbies, try foods/cuisines you’ve never experienced before, travel to places you’ve never been, strengthen your weaknesses, make friends with/date someone different than you/your closest friends, volunteer, read about topics that not only fascinate you, but ones you’ve never heard of, take on that crazy job because it peaks your interest.
Sometimes I worry that we miss too many opportunities because we do what we are comfortable with, or what we see those closest to us doing. We should always look to try things that will challenge/scare us. It will make you a better and more rounded individual. That and when you finally do “grow” up and need to decide what you want to do with your life, you’ll be able to make a much more informed decision because of those experiences.
Never let the fear of how others will perceive her ever stop her from doing what she wants most.
Founder, Bay of Quinte Young Entrepreneurs & HR Clerk, Regional Cadet Support Unit (Central)
https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachael-tracey/
That it is OK to not have a rock solid plan for what you want to do with your life! Have an idea, yes, but don’t set the plan in stone that it must be done a certain way in a certain timeframe!
Think clearly when you have to make a life-altering decision and do not make it on your own! If you have more people advising you or more thoughts about sticking with something, stick with it if you can. One of my biggest regrets happened just after my 18th birthday when I decided to leave the Royal Military College Saint-Jean.
Product Manager
Life is short that you should see every problem as opportunity and give it a shot; but also long enough for you to keep trying until you make it.
Inventor of Shopperations, omnichannel planning software for CPG & Retail marketers.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/olgayurovski/
Travel as much as you can before the responsibilities of life weigh you down.
Software Developer
https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachaeltopp/
Embrace your emotions and don’t feel embarrassed for expressing them. I used to, and sometimes still do, feel afraid to let other people see when I’m sad, angry, happy (tears of joy). Express yourself with confidence and never be afraid to be you.
BBA Candidate at Schulich School of Business | Software Egineer
https://www.linkedin.com/in/shahzebafroze/
I wish I realized my passion for programming sooner – I could have learnt so much online instead of wasting that time in front of a TV.
Manager Finance at Bestbuy distributors limited
https://www.linkedin.com/in/shuchetadeb2018/
This mean the basics of saving, investing and managing the basic portfolio. Finance is an essential subject which each one of us need an understanding in our day to day life for survival and growth
If you listen to the top leaders, you would often hear them say that the read a lot. To gain the maximum you need to do a fast reading to cover more in the same time. As per the experts, the retention level is more if you read more.
In today’s life of extreme competition, we often forget a very important person, i.e. the person you see in the miror..”YOU”. It become important for each individual to step back and look at yourself internally by journaling and meditating.
I know it sound boring and outdated, but it has tremendous power in giving you more energy. Any successful person kick starts their day exercise.
We have heard of the term “Health is Wealth “. Choosing your food is as important as choosing your career. This will impact a person in the long run and not immediately, hence we tend to ignore that.
Corporate Finance at MNP
https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnliutoronto/
Take your time to explore – don’t just convince yourself to pursue a career that you see a family member, friend, or what the rest of society tells you is an ideal job.
Take care of your health! This isn’t something you should do when you’re older or when you start feeling sick. Start from day 1, whether that be eating healthy, having a good sleeping schedule, going to the gym, etc.
Saving isn’t something you should only start after you start your full time career. Save up for post secondary and pay off your first year. Use summer jobs and internships to help save and pay off the next year.
If you’re unsure with what you want to do, reach out to people to learn more about their careers. Building a network and relationships have no age limit.
If there’s something you want to do, don’t tell yourself you’ll do it when your older. With age comes for responsibility that may not give you the freedom that you have now.
Understand basic financial literacy. Familiarize yourself with RRSPs, TFSAs, mutuals funds, budgeting, etc.
Learn things outside of school. Listen to podcasts, follow up with the news, educate yourself about different topics, etc.
Investment Banking Analyst at Wells Fargo Securities
https://www.linkedin.com/in/akshaypattni/
Even when you don’t know what you want to do, still force a 5 year plan and go for it. It’s better to adjust as you go rather than wait around, miss opportunities, and be late to the game once you finally decide.
eCommerce Performance Marketing at RB
https://www.linkedin.com/in/maewen/
Don’t be afraid to follow your passions! You can turn your passion into purpose. I used to livestream on Twitch and make YouTube videos of games I would play. I was discouraged by my more traditional family from spending me time on what they thought were unproductive activities.
In the end, my knowledge and entrepreneurial spirit which I learned from exploring in the digital space on my own became my differentiation point when it came to launching my career.
There’s always a way to learn something new or to explore, don’t be afraid to just try.
MBA Candidate at Rotman School of Management
https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnliutoronto/
Reflect daily: life always has ups and downs, and today might be the best day of your life for a while, when looking back from the future. Don’t forget to acknowledge and appreciate what you have when you are frustrated about what you don’t have. Apply this to romantic relationships and you will have less regret than I do.
Make a “Christmas Card List” – keep a simple list on your phone of all the people who’ve helped you or inspired you in any meaningful way, and at the bare minimum, send them a holiday greetings every year so that the know you still hold them near and dear to your heart. It’ll be important when the time comes and you need a favour.
Be the change you want to see in the world – initiate the conversation, ask the questions you want, be straightforward, ask for what you want and don’t settle for less than you think you’re worth.
Don’t beg, earn it, then it will be given to you.
Don’t make major decisions when you’re really happy, or really sad. Nothing good can come from it making rash decisions when you aren’t in a state of mind to consider and accept all the trade-offs. Sleep on it, let the dust settle, and see the picture clearly before you proceed. It’s easier to find a new contract than to get out of a bad one!
Assistant Marketing Manager at Canada Bread Company, Limited
https://www.linkedin.com/in/winyen-wu-0a172441/
I’d say to learn from other’s career paths (like reverse-engineering), not simply taking their advice. What I wish I’d done to get here is different from what actually happened, and who’s to say which was right?
Candidate for Masters of Geography (GIS & Open-Data)
It is okay to quit/change. People are under tremendous pressure from parents/friends/society to work/act/choose certain ways for themselves thinking they have only one option. But it is very important to make your choices on your terms, to learn when to quit, and most importantly to learn to pivot in your career path or life choices. Rarely will life pan out the way you expected to and it is important to learn to adapt to changes.
Never be afraid to speak your mind or take command. Often I see young colleagues, especially female colleagues hold back their opinion to not look confrontational, but I want to encourage them all that their input matters and is valued.
“Periodic Weapon Maintenance” – a term I learned from a favorite video game of mine called Fallout 3, where if you don’t maintain your weapons every now and then, they deteriorate in quality. Similarly in life, your weapons can be the things that let you get your work done, such as your smartphone, laptop, shoes, clothes, etc. Everything in life will deteriorate in quality if we don’t take the time and care to maintain them.
Product Management | Product Marketing | Digital Marketing | E Commerce | PPC & Paid Social
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dron-sharma/
Do the work that you love and enjoy the experience. When you have interest and passion for a work, a lot of things become smoother.
Don’t run after finding that magic answers to problems during your careers. Executing smaller ideas can also yield bigger results provided they are executed well.
Automated Fibre Placement Researcher
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sadbenkhan/
A good work ethic is always superior to being natural at something. Planning and communication are the most important part of any task, Failing to Plan is planning to fail. No one will understand your ideas if you don’t communicate them clearly. I remember Mr.McCowan (high school engineering teacher) always hammering on about documentation and proposals, I appreciate that a lot more now.
The most important one is keep a dated notebook irregardless of what profession you are in, and scribble all your thoughts and sketches in it no matter how [insignificant] they are. They may be [insignificant] at the moment, but useful later (especially when writing reports) or be fond memories…Also remember to take it everywhere !
Super Cool Big Sis 😎🤓
https://www.linkedin.com/in/weitingxu/
Going to a post-secondary institution with a great co-op program, even if you’re not on scholarship, is priceless when compared against other fresh grads with 1 or none.
Travelling around the world when you have the chance gives new perspectives that you can’t get here at home.
Networking is a fundamental skill. Boils down to being able to have a conversation a stranger. But then also maintaining that relationship.
Life is give and take. Do not only take. Must give back to the community, to friends, to colleagues.
Passion cannot be taught. You have to find it.
Knowing what you do not like is also just as good.
Appreciate the small things in life: thank the janitor, thank front desk, thank mom and dad, thank your significant other – all on a regular basis.
Those who are willing to stick by you on a volunteering initiative while you take the lead means so much more about your leadership capabilities than someone who has direct reports under them at a regular paid job. Never forget that you are always there to inspire so lead with example!
Ask Why.
Ask for feedback regularly from everyone around you. Reflect on it and see if there are areas for improvement. The worst is when someone has zero self-awareness. We don’t want to be in that sticky situation.
Sounds like a sacred word, huh? Don’t apologize for every little thing. However, it is priceless for someone else to hear it, especially when you accept you are in the wrong. Yes, sometimes, you are in the wrong.
Controlling our behaviour, habits, impulses takes real discipline. No one else can help you here but yourself.
How will you get rid of the bad habits? How will you go about enhancing your weaknesses? How will you improve reactions when you get angry?
We’ve come far over the last century in championing women’s rights. However, this movement isn’t done. Therefore, occasionally, you might feel you are treated differently because “you’re female”.
Being female means you can lead, learn, compete, and inspire just as well as anyone else.
Make sure you voice your opinion and stand up for what you believe in. Join the movement and share the love. Being female is awesome.
Focus on how to make yourself awesome and continuously try to beat your best records. Stay away from the gossip, complaints, and negativity. It’s depleting brain power which you should use to change the world. Surround yourself with positive things. Keep telling yourself you can do it – because you can!
Continue to smile and laugh because it is extremely contagious. Everyone could use a little more laughter in their life. Thank you for showering me with your laughter – I love it.
You’re not alone. First step is confidence. Confidence to believe that you will succeed – even if it involves a million and one failures along the way. The only person holding you back is you.Young lady, you are one beautiful soul. You got this.
When you are young, you might fall in love. Is it real? Who is someone else to tell you that it’s not just because you’re young? When odds are against you (e.g. cultural differences, high school sweethearts), embrace it. Go with your gut but always reflect on the relationship.
Love means treating each other with respect. Communication, trust, and kindness is all based on the fundamental beauty behind respect. Never let the other person make you feel less than you’re worth. Otherwise, I’ll have to come in and kick their you-know-what.
If money was not a factor, ask yourself what you would do.
Is this new version of you something you would be proud of? Would younger Winnie look up to you?